Day of Rest

I spent the day lounging around and sleeping today. it was awesome. The last several weeks have felt highly compressed with lots of things to do and exactly enough time to do them. This left little time for me to pause and relax for more than a few minutes.

The trip to Kansas City was intense in both wonderful and uncomfortable ways. The most amazing part was getting to see my mom for the first time in over two years and to be able to share my music with her for the first time. And to do it on Mother’s Day, no less. It as beautiful until my step-dad pulled one of his classic moves in the middle of brunch sending one sister home in tears, mom crying and everyone feeling like a stun-grenade had just gone off. At least that’s how it felt for me.

I kept my composure for the rest of the day and had a great late-night talk with Mom. When I said goodnight and closed the door to the room I was staying in, I came undone and poured myself into bed. Called a friend and got some perspective (I felt incredibly torn between standing up to him and restraint for fear of upsetting my mother further. That whole conversation was inflamed by my step-dad’s vehement insistence that no one ruin Mother’s Day for her by resisting him in any way…).

In all, I went to sleep grateful to be there, to reconnect with my family. I felt blessed to be playing my music for my mom on Mother’s Day. In Kansas City no less. It felt like a dream come true, really. And the whole brunch fiasco was certainly equally disorienting to my sense of reality.

I got to spend all day Monday with my mom – the most amount of time we’ve had in probably over ten years. Her life has been filled with raising her other children and helping all of them through their various life events (pregnancies, marriage, divorce, child rearing, etc..). To have one of those day-long conversations that continue through the various transitions of one’s day (lounging on a couch, driving somewhere, sharing a meal, shopping for gardening supplies) – it was amazing.

Equally amazing was the fact that I woke up at 4am to catch a 6am flight home. After putting my things down in my room at 10:30 in the morning, I started my busy day, travelling 100 miles to project manage a jobsite, get my parking ticket community service signed off, and then facilitate a planning meeting for an event next month. It was a long day and it felt great.

I had a recording session on Thursday that I’m about to start listening through. I spontaneously wrote an entire (rockin) song, cranked out some great performances on a couple of others, and generally had a whole new sense of being in the studio.

I definitely recognize the connection between this new sense and being witnessed by my family – my mom, feeling her conviction that she’s known it all along, seeing her enjoy most of my songs and listening generously to the few that were a little too secular and worldly for her tastes. Even my BROTHER, who is an avowed arch-conservative blogger (http://genxsrightthought.blogspot.com/) said he played my song for his political science class and that he was going to buy my CD.

The whole weekend felt like a “sealing” (as the Mormons would say) – a kind of solidification and growth that comes from being seen and supported by one’s family.

I’ve been feeling more on my game since I’ve been back, too. I’ve been batting in the 900’s lately, managing to take care of cranking through lots of things that needed to get done.

Today, though, was my day of rest. I put the earplugs in, turned off the phones, and contentedly flopped around my bed until about 3.

Life is Good.