Latest Posts

1. Diamond Lane on the Autobahn

   August 12, 2004 7:48 pm Leave a Comment

   If life is a long and winding road, I’m in the diamond lane on the Autobahn. And it’s a double black diamond lane at that. Life has been cranked up for me since, well, June. Got back from my first east coast tour (7 performances in 4 states in 11 days) and the second (literally) I stepped in the door, I started packin and movin. As of today I have a marginally habitable space. There aren’t stacks of boxes surrounding the bed. Just in the hall.

   Got the piano back via FedEx Ground (a week and $60 to get it across the country) and played it for the first time in 10 days and Man, was it sweet.

   As a personal trainer, I learned the importance of “interval training”. That’s when you have spurts of intense physical activity interspersed with light or no activity. The net result (the theory says) is greater impact to cardiovascular capacity and muscle development.

   Well, I’ve learned that interval training has a place in music, too. After two weeks of intensive rehearsal and performance, i didn’t play for 10 days. And last night, I played like I’ve never played before. My playing seems to have taken a distinct upward bend. Which, of course, I delight in.

   I’m working on trying to line up gigs for the protests in NYC in two weeks. It’s a short time frame, and I’m calling everyone I can imagine. Having to move has been tough, and I’m getting really clear that one of the first things I’m going to need if my music takes off is a manager who can do a little bit more advanced planning. It’s tough doing everything by yourself, especially when you’re trying to make a living and move all your belongings, too.

   But I’ll make it work. I’m definitely cut out for hard work, and don’t shrink from it. This is, however, another huge test of my faith. that’s probably the hardest part to all of this. Having faith that I don’t need to worry about having enough money (I have always had just enough), or that I’ll be “discovered”. I guess I need a little more heat and compression to continue forming this diamond of a gift. Diamond lane, indeed.

2. Rockin the cough

   July 29, 2004 4:28 pm Leave a Comment

   Or coughin the rock. I’ve been in a psychic duel with my body lately. Like all things, the paradox is that I’ve also been allowing my body to do its thing. It’s been a drag, no question, to pass on a ton of parties and events the likes of which I havent seen since before the dot com bubble popped. I’m doing my best to preserve my health and voice for tonight’s show. Day before yesterday, I went for a random walk through Boston and came across the Really Real Democratic Bazaar in the Boston Commons park. There were probably, oh, five or six hundred people in the vicinity, mostly anarchists and Haight-street style punks. I thought it was kind of ironic that the anarchists were organizing. And generally baffling about what they propose should replace our f’d up system.

   Anyway, there were two soundstages set up and in wandering around found the schedule for the stages duct taped to the walkway. Bunch of names of bands and artists I didn’t recognize, (which isn’t saying much – I’ve never been one for remembering names of artists) and noticed there was open mic between sets.

   So I ambled over to the soundstage with the larger audience and hesitated for a bit. I told myself the whole reason I’m out here is to play music, so I pushed myself to approach the angry punk lookin dude who was sitting off the stage and ask about signups for the open mic. I got the last slot, 6:21- 6:26. Another moment of irony that Anarchists would have such a tight schedule.

   I jumped the T (thats’ Boston’s version of Muni, “the Train”, or “the El” depending on what metropolitan transit authority you’re familiar with) back to the dorm. I played Unamerican a couple times then packed up my box and started retracing my path back to the Commons. I gave myself an hour to make the trip, allowing for missed trains, and the widely expected random searches. I thought that maybe a giant black box on wheels might attract some attention.

   Interestingly enough, I made it through all 5 stops and was hitting the button to the elevator to the street when a SWAT-swathed Transit Police person approached me. “So, what’s in the box?”

   “A piano”

   he muttered something into his shoulder mic, and the elevator door opened. I got in the elevator, and said I’d be happy to show him if he wanted to take a look. He said sure. We rode up to the street, and now completely outside of the Transit system, opened my case for inspection. I noted the fact that I’d managed to get all the way through the system without being stopped, and it wasn’t until I was out of it that I was stopped. He said something about keeping an eye out for terrorist, BLAH BLAH BLAH.

   Between that and seeing Faranheit 9/11 (which you must see before you make a decision about voting this year), I can’t say that even with the Department of Homeland Security I feel any safer.

   There were plenty of mounted and riot police on the perimeter of the park, though. Certainly there to protect the anarchists from being atacked by terrorists who “hate their freedom”.

   I’m takin the train to Harvard to visit a friend frmo the Bay Area for lunch, then heading to the last hour of the Progressive Demomcratic Convention. Rehearse for an hour, then pack the bags and head to the Paradise for setup and sound check. Still don’t know what time I go on, or how much time I have. Taking my lesson from campout two weeks ago to time my set appropriately.

   More in a bit.

3. playin around

   July 27, 2004 12:02 am Leave a Comment

   just played for a dozen Kucinich folks in a conversation called “what does america mean to me?” The progressives are a funny lot. For the most part, they’re not polished at all. They sometimes come across as frumpy and disheveled, but I don’t think I’ve ever met a more passionate bunch of people. And they are passionate about some pretty basic values – peace, justice and freedom. Somehow these words have become something to avoid in politics. But ultimately, these really mean a lot to me. Yes, there are some vocal, even “shrill” activists in the progressive movement. But in a world where the voices advocating peace, justice and freedom are drowned out by multi-million dollar media campaigns, character assassins and corporate influence, it seems natural that those voices would try to rise above the fray. I have to respect the progressives, too, for “being the change”. There are certainly examples of radical activists acting in aggressive ways. But for the most part, the Kucinich people have been remarkable in their efforts to be mindful of their actions and their impact on their surroundings.

   The sore throat and lightheadedness persist. I’m a bit feverish and have been doing a pretty good job of sleeping a lot and drinking lots of water. I’m counting on my body to heal itself. I just gotta do my part and not put it under too much stress. Which is kind of a drag, because I’m inclined to do a lot – to get around and flier, to pass out my cd, etc. But I have to take it easy, especially since it’s looking more and more like I’m gonna be on for Thursday’s gala.

   Someone in today’s performance said something like “this could easily be the progressive anthem”. I think she might have something there. Certainly this song speaks to the progressives. Funny – I never considered myself “progressive” before, prefering “independent” as a political affiliation. But the more I dig beyond the news of the day as presented by USA Today, Fox, etc (I tuned out of that stuff long ago) the more I find affinity with the progressives, polish or not.

   Indeed, as my own expectations/values around fashion, wealth and lifestyle have changed over the last few years (opting for more simple way of living), it’s not that I find I have more in common with these folks. I just think they’re among the few advocating for fairness, equality and justice.

   I’m off to rest.

4. A quick addition…

   July 26, 2004 4:23 pm Leave a Comment

   a quick note I forgot to mention yesterday. After watching the delegates in their meeting, I followed Kucinich outside to the front of the buiding. Henri helped get my CD to a campaign staffer at the Kucinich campaign who was riding in the front seat of the van as they drove away. I also had a brief chat with the deputy campaign director who ran the delegates meeting (it was an impressive undertaking – getting 50-some progressive delegates to come to concensus). it was a nice connection, too. He seemed quite interested.

   anyway, while lingering outside, two women gave me a copy of their book “Democracy Day By Day” , a pocket-sized collection of quotes on topics related to democracy, participation, community, etc.. One of the authors of the book asked what my birthday was, as kind of an invitation to open the book and check it out.

   I turned to March 4 and felt that tingly sensation as I read these words from Cato, an 18th century slave. “When you’ve got a song in you, you’ve got to sing it”.

   I explained to the author why I was here in Boston in the first place, and she looked at me with what could only be described as a look of awe.

   Absolutely perfect.

5. Progress with the Progressives…

   1:02 am Leave a Comment

   I arrived in Boston after a rather long drive down from Vermont. My cousin Mathew totally rocks. Despite having a life of his own, he still managed to get me where I needed to be when I needed to get there. I’d never been to this part of New England, and it was cool to drive through during the daytime.

   Driving in Boston is worse than San Francisco, hands down. I thought SF was the worst with the pervasive No Left Turn, which makes getting around kind of a trick. Boston just has these one way roads with no exits that take you miles away from where you want to be, with no direct route back.

   Despite some confusion at check-in (my sponsor already had someone check in with him, and there are only two people allowed per room. The gracious people at the Kucinich campaign put me up in a room, at elast until Wednesday night. Not sure how things are going to play out, as I’m planning to stay through Thursday night…

   By late afternoon, my throat started swelling. I’d had some serious congestion night before last in Vermont. I think my immune system was finally overrun. Sore throat, and a sore tongue of all things. In any event, I decided to make it a short night, took a huge swig of Nyquil and crashed around 7 or 8 pm. Woke up in a bit of delirium around 11:30, put earplugs in and slept another 12 hours. After nearly two months of 16-18 hour days, my body finally called a time-out.

   Today I met Dennis Kucinich and gave copies of my CD single to 3 or 4 members of Kucinich’s senior staff. I also met the planners for the Kucinich Gala, which concludes the 2004 Kucinich campaign. Despite Kerry being a sure thing, the Democratic party still wants to demonstrate unity, which gives some leverage to the Kucinich campaign to influence the democratic platform. Kucinich’s core constituency is the progressive movement – ardent anti-war advocates, “peace and justice”, etc..

   Anyway, I got an eagle-eye view of democracy in action when the Kucinich delegates (67 of ’em) gathered to talk about how they’re going to vote at the convention. Kucinich officially endorsed Kerry on Thursday, but the delegates get to vote for whoever they want to. The Kucinich delegates want to “vote their conscience” and vote for him, even though Kucinich clearly doesn’t have enough votes for the nomination. For many of them, this vote is the only way for the progressive movement to show up in the process.

   I had been feeling that I should be a bit more aggressive in promoting my song but my friend Aaron pointed out that I could be spraying my stuff randomly, or “sniping”. Given that my efforts today got my CD in the hands of senior leadership of a presidential candidate (as well as the event planners for the Gala event), looks like I might have a playing gig on Thursday.

   Gonna take it easy tonight, and get to bed at a reasonable hour. Many activities going on this week to get to.

6. Almost ready to hit the trail to Boston

   July 24, 2004 5:06 am Leave a Comment

   The last couple of days have been sublime. I’m in Vermont visiting my my aunt, uncle and cousin. They’ve always been a kind of shelter for me. Whenever I make my way up here, I’m usually on the tail end or in the midst of a massive workload. So i’m usually tired and often busy on the computer, which seems strangely out of synch with the Vermont artisan lifestyle (despite the fact that they’ve got 2 macs and a wireless network). But I’ve had a lot of research to do (finding email addresses, convention info, sorting out some technical stuff with my blog and generally doing what I can to keep the momentum of launching a music career.

   The flight case arrived today and became a pretty big burden. The case is 48 pounds, and with the 57 pound piano, puts it over the weight limit to fly. The “extra charge” zone for airlines is 53-99 pounds. Over a hundred pounds, and they turn you away. I checked in with my brother, who was a Delta ticket agent, and he confirmed that there was little to be done. So now I have a $500 flight case I can’t fly with. I really ordered it for keeping the piano safe for local gigs, and should I find myself asked to play shows on the east coast, I’ll have to stipulate shipping the piano ($400-$500 to overnight it). But it took all day today to secure the piano in the case (I’d ordered it larger to accomodate the legs, pedal, cables, etc..) and figure out how i was going to get it from Boston to DC, and then from DC home. Looks like I’m going to Amtrak it to DC, with an overnight layover in NYC. (I’m hoping to get a gig set up there to play in the early evening for my City friends) I’m not sure how I’m going to get a 110 lb case into the overhead compartment on the train, but i suspect Alex Hamilton will be a big help. Relative to the far more costly alternatives, I’m happy to part with a twenty to get it on board the train.

   tomorrow, I head to Boston. I had a really great conversation last night with a special new friend who shared some really great persective with me about my music. One of the most satisfying facets to this whole process to me has been that I really have no idea where this is going to go. I’m remarkably calm to be completely broke and going for it on this trip. In one respect, I owe it to myself to give it everything. My point, though, is that given that this is all a huge mystery, my eyes and heart are wide open. And so every conversation feels important, and I pay attention to what people are telling me, as if there might be a message in what they say.

   I just realized that it’s almost 1:30 in the morning. i’m tired and hot (I miss the cool weather of San Francisco. i’m definitely NOT looking forward to the heat and humidity of Boston and Virginia in July. Blech).

   more to come…

7. Leaving on a jet plane…

   July 21, 2004 9:22 am Leave a Comment

   In a few hours, I’ll be waking up and heading to the airport, headed for Boston. I’m going to spend a few days visiting relatives in Vermont (and rehearsing my ass off), then back to Boston for the Democratic National Convention on the 24th. I’ll be there an indeterminate amount of time, probly 4 or 5 days. Then down to DC to visit more family and home on the 2nd of August.

   This feels to me like I’m embarking on a chapter of my life’s journey. I have no idea what’s ahead of me. Literally. I don’t have a gig that I know of, I’ve only barely met the guy whose invitation suggested this opportunity, but the doors flew open so wide and fast (in large part thanks to members of this community) that it’s impossible to say no. Well, not impossible, but saying “No” to the Divine “Yes” is something I know is generally not a good idea.

   So I’m stepping into this great mysterious void of my new life. What surprises me is how calm I feel in the midst of taking one of the biggest risks of my life. I’m pretty much broke from getting everything together, and taking two unpaid weeks off to follow an instinct sometimes creeps up on me as insane. I felt the same way about the Awe To Action conference at some points early on, though, too. Learned my lesson about divine alignment, I hafta say. 🙂

8. One Milestone Down

   July 19, 2004 5:21 am Leave a Comment

   I just got back from a four day camping trip I’d been planning for 6 months, which was a much needed break from a rather compressed and busy few months. I don’t remember the last time I took time off to just relax. And I really, really needed it. I’d been working 16 – 18 hour days for the last, oh, two months (with an occasional sleep-in day here and there), and July 15 was the light at the end of my tunnel. I knew I was going to have three days of no responsibility, surrounded by friends, lounging in nature. It was a potent incentive to keep the fires stoked.

   Also, this trip marked an important milestone. The camping trip was with a couple hundred friends of mine, during which we had an annual talent show. Last year I performed some spoken word, which in retrospect primed my pump for public performance. Anyway, when I made the decision to make music this year, every time I wrote or rehearsed, I’d close my eyes and imagine the exact scene that occurred this weekend – a hundred people sitting on a lawn in the midst of a gorgeous garden in the Mendocino hills, surrounded by giant trees and a canopy of stars.

   it was actually a pretty surreal experience, because it was EXACTLY as I’d imagined it. I had a moment when I was performing when I closed my eyes, and I instantly reaccessed the vision I’d played in my head countless times while I rehearsed in the dark at home over the last several months. When I opened my eyes, well, there it was.

   I learned a REALLY important lesson in timing my set, too. I had saved my best/favorite songs for the end of my set. Well, I got yanked off stage about 2/3 through my set, having run out of time. The generator for the event showed up quite late, making everything compressed. Even had the generator showed up on time, I still would have gone over my allotted 20 minutes. I just completely spaced the time limit. (NEVER AGAIN – Lesson Learned)

   I was pretty miffed (95% at myself for having neglected my time constraints), but quickly found the blessing (beyond the lesson about being conscious of time constraints). When things like that happen to me – that is, when things don’t go the way I want, or when things are painful for me, I try to ask “How does this serve me?”. My chosen perspective is that everything that happens to me in my life serves me, whether it’s painful or bliss. Indeed, I’ve had the most profound growth spurts from my most painful experiences.

   So in searching my pain and anguish at not having been able to share my favorite material (and the songs I think have the biggest impact on people), I asked how this served me. The answer came pretty quickly. Given the significance of that performance in my overall picture, (it was a debut of my songwriting and singing for the people who know me best) i was left feeling that had I been able to put all my best stuff out there, I might feel like I’d accomplished what there was to do to some extent.

   funny, now that I think of it, it’s the old show business addage turned on itself. “Always leave them wanting more”. Well, I was definitely left with a burning desire for more. it also provoked a fair amount of thinking about my music, my motivations for doing it, and an appreciation for the experience of being frustrated. “Chorus Interruptus” you might say.

9. Catching up

   July 15, 2004 11:33 pm Leave a Comment

   Wow, it’s been a busy couple of weeks. I’ve been CRANKIN, though. I mean, I’ve not been so focused, disciplined and productive since college. And I still don’t have enough time to get everything done. As a matter of catching up on some key events in the last few weeks:

   I was invited by the Kucinich technology director to crash at his hotel in Boston for the Democratic National Convention, and to try and get some exposure for the song. I think I mentioned before that he’s a huge fan of the song, and I believe he really wants it to be heard far and wide. As do I.

   So a couple weeks ago, he made this offer. I got excited and told him I’d see what I could do to get out there. I’m not exactly rolling in dough, and with buying a flightcase, ticket, promotional materials, etc., i was easily looking at spending a grand I didn’t have. But it was also a huge opportunity.

   After mulling on it for a few days, I decided I couldn’t afford to take the trip, and I sat on that decision for the rest of the day. Later that day, I asked a friend if she wanted to come to the studio to take a few “in studio” shots. When I reached her, she asked if I was calling in response to her email.

   “What email?” I asked.

   “The one I sent about 20 minutes ago…”

   Turns out this friend had just sent me an email offering to cash in frequent flier miles to get a ticket out to Boston for the convention. I might have had a hard time believing it if my life weren’t so full of such serendipity and ease around my music. It’s clear to me that this is what I’m supposed to be doing, and it feels great.

   After a fair amount of logistical back and forth, I confirmed a flight and started making preparations. One of which included getting a flight case ordered so the piano could be shipped and transported without damaging it. A $500 expense, but worth it, I think/hope.

10. Cranked

    July 5, 2004 8:18 am Leave a Comment

    Just finished the final touches of the websites supporting the release “unamerican” on July 4. I had the song available for download at about 11:30pm, so it wasn’t much of a window for people to get to (not that there’s anyone there, there, anyway, but i really felt strongly about releasing this song on July 4. So much of the inspiration for this song came from conversations and thoughts about the Founding Fathers, the sacrifices they endured, the risks they took, and the brilliance in creating a system of democracy. a few years ago, I overheard a couple of leftist, pot-smoking, tree-huggers (as Rush likes to say) talking about John Adams and Thomas Jefferson in very revered and passionate terms. I was surprised by the apparent dichotomy of progressives talking about patriotism and the essence of american values. It got me thinking – a lot. One day I was driving along the California coast thinking about a conversation I had with my friend Leslie about how great it is to live in america. I wouldn’t call Leslie a conservative in any way, so that conversation caught me a little by surprise, too. Anyway, I started thinking about how fortunate I feel to be living in America, and how outraged I get when people suggest that protesting the war or being concerned about the environment is “unamerican”. actually, i don’t really get outraged. I’m just really confused (given the core American values of freedom of speech and assembly) as to how exercising one’s freedoms is unamerican. So this song is dedicated to Karl Rove, GeeDub, and the whole GeeDub crew. Blessings on you, and i wish you well in whatever you find yourself doing in November 2004.